A DEPRESSION

Depression

Is there something similar to that? Something so bad as living into a deep depression? Something so worst as don´t want to live a single day more? Something like a feeling of not being understood even for the people you love more?
Something so estrange as not having strength to do anything? Something so awful as to be in bed for hours not wanting to know anything about your world, the people you love, your work or interests? Something so peculiar as not be interested about your money, the news, or the friends?. Not wanting to talk with anyone, or seeing other people. not wanting to pick up the telephon and feeling you have not voice, your tune is low, different, you have a continuous pain, it seems the time so long, every day it is a torture and you want only to die as soon as possible?

Such kind of feelings that no body round you, or even yourself can´t understand it is what a depressed person feels for one and another day....til when?. Thats the question repeated several times a day.

It seems that your mind is clear because you may think, you think too much but everything it is without any bright.
There is not hopes, you feel that have fall in a deep hole and it is nearly imposible to go up from it.
Yes it seems it is not possible for you to be out from it.
(But it is posible, have in mind that)

Impossible to enjoy your life, you are not hungry, always thirsty because your mouth is dry, so many pills taken gave you a sensation that you need to drink every moment.
Money for what? You have not any interest in spending it as there is nothing you may feel interested.
The only thing you want more it is to be in the bed for hours sleeping, without thinking any more.
 n you have the sensation of being a trouble to the people you love, you are a burden so heavy that not any body knows what to say you, how to give you any help and it seems you have not any will to get out from that situation.
You hate any kind of advise friends could gave you, yes it seems easy for them but who could understand the way you are following day after day.
Such a big effort to survive.

The feeling of being so bad it is going to long for ever, is it just what you think?, what you feel? every morning, a new day for what? to suffer it so many hours? It is better to be asleep as much as possible, not thinking, not seeing any body, not having to talk, not having to live.

Little by little you think it is better just to be dead, you are a burden and the people you love sure they would be better without you. So why not, it is easy to die when you have not any will to be alive.

But how? when?, which is it the best form?. The insane idea comes and goes continuously once and again along every day, along a week, a month, a year......till when?. For ever?, yes it seems that you, me. are going to live this way without any rest for years, or for ever, who knows?. So great effort to go on a day after another.

What can I said about THAT?.

A single thing... it is not true, it is not true my friends....by all means it si not TRUE.
It is necessary to fix this idea inside your, my, mind deep inside every second you, me, are living this unhappy situation.

After living a depression twice I know that yes, it is possible to be out from it if you fight with all you forces to be out from the black túnel, up from the deep hole you think are being to stay for life, or for too long, so long that you think it could be impossible to resist your sorrows, your insane thoughts, your sadness, your absolute lack of interest about life.

Not anybody may understand what a depressed person is feeling at least for all of them that have not suffered at least one through their life.
Unthinkable to every one close to you, or me,  how much this depressed person is suffering if you have never gone by a similar situation, and it is best not to have gone ever through it.

Other kind of sickness it is very understable for people despite they have never be sick or have passed through such a bad episode of illness but not a depression if they have not suffered one.
So please, people who knows nothing about it, do not give any advise to a depressed one, it is for nothing and the only result could be to exasperate even more the depressed one.

Living beside a depressed son, wife, father or lover it is like being in hell, you don´t know what to do, what to say, how to cared the loved relative or lover. All seems too difficult, and sometimes the loving relation it is finished after passing through that.
The lover who resist this in his partner it could be because she or he loves very very much, as at the end the atmosphere could be really hard of resisting.

Yes, having pass through twice living experiences of depression I could know what I am talking about and I know quite well how bad a depression could be for the person who suffers it and the people who is living close to him/her.

There is nothing similar to suffering this illness, because the person who suffers it is sick, very sick by all means, and he/she needs treatment and too much love. Patience, a strong charácter beside him or her, and first of all the idea that at the end this depression has cure.
Yes it has cure, despite we all think that going through a situation so bad there is not any hope.

All we need to know and be sure about that, the depressed one first,  it is a period of time that has its end. That it is necessary to much will to go through it day after day, obeying the doctor, taking the pills, eating without any desire, to get up from bed early, to go for a walk once a day or even more, not to think in killing oneself as the best option. No, this option has not return, having depressed has return to a new situation that have positive reactions inside the feelings of people that return from it. Usually for good, yes, we are another kind o person once we feel better, once we feel the depression is off from our soul. Again we enjoy the fact of being alive and we use to be better persons after all.

Life has another meanings so, not everything is bad after all, as which ever thing that makes us suffering  and it don´t kill us ......at the end makes us more strong.
It is for sure, I have the experience already.

Who suffers knows what is the fact of living with this feeling, suffering every momento for a long time, and the lack of it makes us more happy. It is like being born once again.
Usually it makes us more human, we accept better the other people suffers. 

Too much hope for people who can read this, my experience has been bad, too bad for twice but at the end just now I am right. Happy of living again, once time more. With time to reconciliate with my world, with God, with persons that love me or not love me. It is the same, another time, another life, another bright in common things as breath, as seeing a nice picture, or have a good talk.

In the midle of a deep depression, please think that being happy again in future it is possible after all. Have always this thought inside your mind dear friends.


See this link, it could be good for you as it has been good for me...

http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic.html

emi

JUST WALKING

Various images of a charming site, where slide imperceptibly hours observing nature, people who play sports, or simply walk.

Intertwined lovers, families or loners who walk their dog and are self-absorbed without looking at any other passersby. Trees and large meadow are the kings of the landscape.

In my short stay in London some years ago I visited four or five times Kengsington gardens and Hyde Park, I got lost and had to ask for help to cross from side to side.

Take the Harrows stores to Notting Hill walking, lost in the meadow, looking stunned everything around me.

A place to walk for hours in a big city like London and away from it, where you can isolate yourself in your own thoughts, read a book, or watch the big trees that grow every where.

 Where you can certainly chat with a stranger anywhere in the world that spends a few days in London, or a citizen who was born in the city and sits idly next to you in the same bank.

They are so used to seeing people who visit the city are not surprised that the people of London asking them anything at any time of the morning, day or evening.

Do not miss a visit to Kensington Gardens are a continuation of Hyde Park, but they have another nuance of tranquility that make the place a very special place.

emi

CUCA TALK WITH US

 

 Multiple sclerosis and other feelings

How calmly you talk and explain that you suffer illness is Cuca, the Multiple Sclerosis think it is easy to explain and assimilate ?.
Do not be silly, it is very difficult or almost impossible to explain or assimilate, every day dawns and still the same or worse, do not know how it will be that day, if you can merge or not, how much help you'll need at all times, there are times when you manage to sit up for yourself, others do not and have to get up like a sack of potatoes, you think people or one you love must be tired of you, tired and you're a hindrance in their lives, but not you die, well some if they die soon but most, and those who tell me not have to wake up three hundred sixty-five days a year knowing you're a useless thing, that each passing week it'll be a little more every year more, and at the end you will still be needed almost all kinds of support for the most vital functions.
Do you think that's easy to grasp?.

The truth is that thinking like you just tell not, may not be easy to grasp for anyone, but I see so calm, do not lose the humor, you play with the computer, you laugh, enjoy watching a movie or chatting with friends, sometimes it seems like nothing happened.
Besides you appear much younger than you have thought you had it very well understood or assimilated and that the disease was not so present in your head.

++++

It is every day of the year and I have to work all the time, every single day of my life now, every hour of the day you do not notice in my character, that does not take up my life completely, not monopolize the lives of those around me, or the person who takes care of me, Emiliano certainly pretense, pretend, I entertain thinking about a thousand things to review again and again, day after day in a kind of wheel without purpose other than for three day of the month touches me think about this, and six in another, so I repeat stories, country, facts, and many things that absorb me not to think about my future, I have not, in my illness in if I can add I am in charge I represent every day, and that effort to be busy every minute of the day, not to think about anything on this that I tell you, it's what keeps me well, apparently noticeable.
  
Look good mood, happy, happy, and sometimes achieving forget and I am, I have been and am happy over many times, I am with my friends or people who come to see me, he loves me, friends or family and especially spending hours beside the person I love, already imagine who is. In this our beloved cat has been and is an essential aid.

And that's the reality of everyday life, for me there is nothing, today, tomorrow when I go to bed and think of how it will be even one more day tomorrow, I do not think if I can, if I hurt more, if I can spend a half day well, none of that goes through my mind when I lie down, succeeded in isolating these issues within a large box and think of the Oscar, passages of history, Capitals African Nations, or I listing the States States of America, placing them in the mental map that I have in all continents of the globe.
I have been doing this many years since I saw that this was, that was not going to die soon as it was my desire and especially when I decided not to rankle of those who love me, my daughters, my friends and especially my life partner Emiliano.

Cuca amazing, and that really helps ?, that helps you remember the days pass without your disability status, the strange disease that you suffer for many, I assure me ?. Would you make sure everyone who can read these lines and is in a similar situation to yours with this disease Multiple Sclerosis or other similar ?.

Helps me greatly, give me encouragement to go off emililano day after day, you want me and the do every night in bed my recovery, I extend as much as possible the time of my absolute inability and therefore physically and mentally work day after day.
at least I think I do something helpful and I can not help in other aspects of our lives retrasaré as much as possible the effects of the disease, for him and me.

I absolutely want my daughters, I would spare them suffering at me like that, I understand that coming soon as it is difficult to bear the sight of a mother in this state, a mother who should have helped these at your side to everything they wished and absolutely not in this sorry state of view or live.

I understand them and never ask them to come more often, so that, to suffer ?. No, better not, I think they have life and suffer as little as possible rather does his father.

Bravo for you Cuca, are a person of integrity amazes me. No one, or almost no one would think as you think about your family or friends. The sick care, who want him to understand him, to visit him, he becomes selfish, is not your case and I admire deeply for it.

I congratulate you for this, at heart, and I think you can feel proud of what you do and your outlook on life.
Thank gatufo ?, if the name you've made you.

Thanks also to heart if you understand what I'm telling you is that you're smarter than I thought, that grace you making that face.

It's easy to understand or explain, I wish that those who want me to suffer as little as possible, if you want me , come and stand beside me possible to make your stay enjoyable, not painful, and if you do not want to see me because they find it very hard, I understand perfectly because I love you too much to be selfish.


Cuca until another day.

gatufo (who makes the questions)

ESPERANZA DE VIDA

Dicen que la esperanza de vida en España es de las mas altas del mundo y se sienten orgullosos de proclamarlo.
Menuda questión para sentirse orgullosos, ¿esperanza de vida? y ¿que vida?. La suficiente para engordar las arcas de los empresarios que en geriatricos por doquier teoricamente cuidan de ancianos achacosos, enfermos, demenciados, que hacinados en fila esperan simplemente que una muerte piadosa les haga dejar de sufrir.

Menuda esperanza de vida, yo diria mas bien esperanza para sufrir mas y mas, haciendo mucha mas penosa la vida de las personas ancianas que a lo largo de meses o años simplemente esperan, un día, otro mas, y otro mas hasta que un dia cualquiera se van definitivamente dejando sitio para que otro u otra ocupe su lugar en el geriátrico.

Me subleva esta sociedad hipócrita y mercantilista que trafica así con el sufrimiento y la vida de decenas de miles de personas haciendo un negocio floreciente el hecho de prolongar vidas que solo esperan la muerte.

Hablo con sobrado conocimiento de causa, mi madre estuvo trece años en esa situación, esperando en el mortuorio como ella me decía cada vez que estaba con ella.
Hubiera deseado cuidarla, pero no podía, trabajando, con tres hijas y esposa no había sitio en casa ni para un gato.
Mi suegra también estuvo varios años, mi esposa ya enferma sin poder tampoco cuidarla.
Mi padre también hizo el mismo desfile, afortunadamente para el poco años, tres o cuatro que seguro se le harian larguisimos.

Los patrimonios desaparecidos en las manos ávidas de empresarios dedicado al floreciente negocio de los geriátricos.
No hay problema, cientos de ancianos esperan un lugar donde vejetar, ya que sus familiares pasan de ellos o simplemene "no tienen tiempo", ni ganas, ni sitio.

Habría que llevar a los crios, y a sus papas, a que visitaran estos lugares de muerte para que salgan del error de considerarlos como lugares felices donde se cuida a los "mayores" que por supuesto tambien están contentos y felices esperando estirar la pata cuanto antes mejor.

Se me hiela la sangre cada vez que he ido a estos lugares, me da un gran cabreo ver lo que sucede, miedo a acabar mis días en semejantes asilos, y sufrimiento enorme cuando voy a ver a mi esposa que lleva un mes recluida sin ganas de vivir porque en casa ya no podiamos atenderla en su enfermedad de "esclerosis múltiple", y "felices" de que la atiendan pagando una buena cantidad de euros, mil para ser exactos, y si no los tienes irás a la puñetera calle, sin más.

Conclusión, ¿líderes en esperanza de vida? menuda satisfacción, en lo que a mi respecta ninguna.
Ojala muriera pronto, de repente y en mi cama, nunca transportado a un lugar al que llaman Residencia de la tercera Edad. 
Cuanta hipocresia.

el gatufo